Helping Young Children Appreciate the Mass

All of us have seen families who struggle to keep their young children "under control" at Mass. It's not pretty. Although this is understandable with children from birth until age 2-and-a-half, setting an early basis for a child's full participation at Mass not only helps them get through the experience with fewer tears, it can yield a big payoff when the child is older.

  photo from http://catholickey.org/ )

I have seen children as young as three who can lisp Mass responses, sing acclamations and familiar songs, and stand, sit and kneel when everyone else does - all because their parents participate in the Mass and expect that their children will too. These are the same little ones who remain reasonably quiet during the homily, perhaps while looking at a children's Bible or board-book about the Mass or the saints or while playing quietly with a Jesus or saints doll.

Sadly, most parishes are not helping parents with this piece. Interaction with parents of young children after baptism is one of the most-neglected areas of ministry in parishes today. The basis for young children's participation and understanding of the Mass actually begins with liturgical catechesis for youth, young adults and candidates for marriage. If parents participate fully in the Mass and make the effort to teach their children to do so as well, it makes a difference - for the experience of both parents and child.

Failure to do that is possibly one of the biggest reasons families don't go to Mass. Although we tend to blame it on the culture, sports and other distractions, many parents admit it's because they don't want to fight with their kids about going to Mass. Of course Mass is "no fun" when you sit on the sidelines and only marginally understand what is going on and why. Some families go anyway, but don't seem to be fully present. As a cantor facing the assembly, I have seen quite a few families in which neither parents nor teens sing, say responses or do anything other than sit, stand and kneel, all while staring straight ahead with a bored expression. (Happily most at least do the Sign of the Cross, say the Our Father and participate in the Sign of Peace.)

More than simply helping kids to participate, though, helping then to make real-life connections so they understand the meaning of the Mass is even better. (File this under things I wish I had understood better 25 years ago!)

Dan Gonzalez, a father of two, creator of The Mass Explained app for iPad and author of The Mass Explained blog has just posted this great explanation of what he is doing with his own children. He has also posted the priest paper doll for learning about vestments, the first of 10 art and activity lessons for young children on the Mass, to which he will add to each week of the summer.

http://www.massexplained.com/kids-mass-crafts-3/ 

If you think about it, Jesus didn't just suddenly walk into the Temple at age 12. He had been raised to participate in worship by Mary and Joseph. When my own boys were young, they went to Mass every week, and learned to sing and respond because I helped them follow along in the missalette and hymnal. While they may not go to Mass as often today as I would like, now that they are 29 and 31, when they do, they participate fully - because that was what was expected of them from the beginning. That's how it works.

Calendar Kids - "The Calendar Song" for Teaching the Liturgical Year

A reader, Brook Packard, a children's chapel minister for the Episcopal Church, forwarded me information on her resource for teaching kids about the liturgical year - "The Calendar Song."  This catchy and memorable song is a great way to teach kids the order of the seasons and what they are about. It can be used now as the new Liturgical Year begins, or serve as an Epiphany Proclamation for kids, as it is used in the video below of a mixed-age-group singing it in church.

You can learn how to obtain the sheet music to the song on her website. Brook has other resources there for catechesis as well - many are free - and since we Catholics share many things in common with the Episcopalians, almost everything "translates" across.

Principles, Attitudes and Strategies for Liturgy with Children

Tonight I will be speaking to a group of parish catechists about liturgy with children. Here is the handout I have put together for them. (Note that the reason I have been asked to speak to them is partly because there have been some issues regarding the regular addition to religious education Masses of performances by the children, designed to showcase them and to motivate applause.)

1. Children have a natural sense of the sacred and a wonderful capacity for connecting with symbol and ritual. Good liturgy with children means giving them an opportunity to participate in the roles of the Liturgy and experience its power – NOT in adding “extras to the Liturgy to make it “child-friendly,” not in artificially turning it into a teaching moment.

2. The liturgy has roles. Children need to participate to the greatest extent possible in the liturgy. Therefore, they need an opportunity to take on the liturgical roles. (Directory for Masses with Children, 22) Liturgy is work. Children are naturally helpful, so they will eagerly take on the work of those roles if they are properly trained. Don’t just ask them to read. Teach them how to proclaim. Don’t just ask them to bring up the gifts. Show them how to do that with reverence and grace.

3. Liturgy is NOT entertainment. Nothing in the liturgy should showcase any person or persons in such a way as to generate applause. The Mass is a prayer to God the Father, through Jesus Christ, in the Holy Spirit. It is never about us. And the assembly is not the audience expecting to be entertained.

4. The same gifts and talents are NOT given to everyone. This is not the Little League, where “no child shall be disappointed.” Children should be given liturgical roles for which they show some aptitude, not because it is “their turn.” Some children can sing: they belong in a children’s choir. Some can walk with grace and dignity – they should be in processions or should carry banners. Some can read clearly – they should be readers.

5. The people in the pews (the Assembly) have a specific “job description”. They are not the “audience” watching a performance. Teach children their proper role in joining in the Mass responses, spoken and sung. Teach them to listen – actively – to the Word of God. Teach them to offer their lives to God along with the gifts of bread and wine. Teach them to truly prepare themselves to receive Jesus in the Eucharist. Teach them to pray in thankfulness after receiving the Eucharist and to know what it is they are being sent out into the world to do as the Mass ends.

6. Children are tactile, sensory and able to grasp the significance of symbols. When appropriate, use the liturgical symbols: water, bread, wine, oil, fire lavishly and well. Help kids experience them, become familiar with them and delight in them. 

7. Have them practice the songs that will be sung before the day of the Mass. Catechists can be given a tape or CD with the Mass songs.

So, what CAN children do at liturgy? They can take the proper liturgical roles. (Ask your parish music and liturgy director or parish members who train liturgical ministers to assist)

PREPARING FOR THE MASS:
1. Make a banner (These can even be made from heavy paper and mounted on a pole)
2. Decorate the altar or the liturgical space for the season with artwork or assist in placing fabric, flowers or other objects
3. Be part of a committee to choose the songs that will be sung (working with the musician or parish liturgist)
4. Be part of a committee to help write the General Intercessions (Prayers of the Faithful)
5. Decide to which charity the proceeds of a monetary or food collection will go.

AT MASS:
1. Be informed members of the Assembly, participating in the sung and spoken responses of the Mass, even if they serve in other ministries.
2. Be a minister of hospitality: greeter or usher, seating parents and/or handing out programs
3. Be an altar server (preferably they are students who do this on weekends because of the many details they need to know.)
4. Be part of the opening procession, carrying a banner
5. Be a song –leader or member of a choir
6. Be a reader
7. Be the psalmist (sung or spoken)
8. Bring up the gifts of bread and wine (the only things besides a monetary collection that should go up in that procession)
9. Be a communion usher, indicating when a row should get up to join the line
10. Collect books or song-sheets from Mass participants as they leave - and thank them for being there

RESOURCES FOR FURTHER STUDY:

Directory for Masses with Children (1973) 

General Instruction ofthe Roman Missal (2011 edition)

Today’s Liturgy withChildren (article collection for liturgical catechesis) 

TheLiturgical Catechist website  

Catholic Families and Mass - The Challenge Begins at Baptism

Last week I had the privilege of spending two days conducting catechist formation for the 42 new Catholic school teachers of our diocese Probably about 2/3 of them will be teaching Religion, but all of them are catechists - because they will be sharing faith with children and their families. The entire experience was enfolded in prayer, ritual and liturgical catechesis and sprinkled with practical examples and discussion, tips for methodology, curriculum issues and more. Naturally, during all of this, we talked about the importance of Mass - and of course, we discussed the problem that so few families attend Mass with their children.  There was great concern, and rightly so.

One teacher shared that her parish school "makes" parents sign a contract about Mass attendance and that there is an assignment on Monday mornings where students are asked to write about the weekend homily and the experience of Mass.  Mass as "homework" - oh my!  What a sad commentary on the state of the Church! While I have to grant that it may get families there, I am a bigger fan of strategies for attraction and invitation over coercion.

What has happened to faith formation in America that it has been more or less downgraded to a consumer commodity? Both in religious education programs and Catholic schools, we see a continuing increase in the "drop-off" mentality - parents seem to feel they are purchasing a service - the parish or school is being paid to make their kids Catholic, so the parents can feel they gave their children "a foundation in religion" - and can check that off the "good parent to-do list".

When children go home to families where faith is not practiced, where there is no family prayer or Mass attendance, there is no guarantee that anything the child experiences or learns will be effective in giving them a lifelong foundation for Catholic faith.  In fact, in April of last year, the Pew Forum "Leaving Catholicism" report showed that the single most important factor in whether or not a person stayed in or left the Catholic Church in young adulthood was whether or not they attended Mass regularly as a teen.  Obviously, the foundation for that begins in early childnood.

Complaints we typically hear are that kids are "bored" at Mass, or that Mass is not "family friendly."  This, of course is the consumer mentality speaking. Mass, or course, is not something we should go to expecting to be entertained or where the poor behavior of children's who are no longer infants should be accepted just because they are there.  It is public ritual worship, where all have the right and duty to participate, even the children.

It is clear to me that among the families who actually do attend Mass regularly, there are best-practices and not-so-good practices. Families who set an expectation of the children that they, too, will participate make a conscious effort to help their children learn how to pray the Mass - they open the missal and follow the prayers and responses with their finger. They open the hymnal and help their children to learn to sing at very early age with joy and enthusiasm. 

Contrast them to the majority of families, who fall into either the "Cheerios and toys" crowd, who never graduated from distracting their kids when they stopped being infants (doesn't matter if they sit in or outside of a "cry room") or the parents who simply worship and ignore their children, allowing them to distract others, who have a right to their feeling that their worship has been disturbed.  When these kids become teens, it is no wonder they actively resist coming to Mass, often making the experience of getting them there so unpleasant that parents cave in.

These, however, are the ones who are actually present at Mass as families with young children.  If the young adult parents are not attending Mass themselves because they were disengaged as teens, the scenario simply perpetrates itself in the next generation.

What to do?  I think we need to get to the new parents.... right at and immediately after baptism of their children.  If we ignore them and trust them to show up when they wish their children to "get their sacraments" we enable them to have a consumer attitude - to come in to find out how much money and time it will cost to get the certificates.  Our entire model - the predominance of private baptisms separated from Mass, handing the parents a certificate and waiting for them to come back - is disengaged from the intention of Baptism as the gateway sacrament into the community of faith's Eucharistic practice.

Yes, there are strategies out there where the parish sends out occasional letters to the families on the anniversary of baptism, etc. but this is not enough. We need to reach out, invite, and mentor young families to keep them connected.  If every child were baptized at Mass, held up in front of the community of faith and embraced and welcomed every week, if young famlies were encouraged to connect with other young families, they would be less likely to disappear.  If parishes had early-childhood Mass-participation coaching  - mentor families showing parents how to help their children become a part of the community's worship.... well, you can see there are many possibilities. This might actually be a call for Family Ministry people to come out of their silos to work with religious educators, Catholic school principals and liturgy committees. That would be revolutionary!

Unevangelized Children: Consequence of "Erasing" God's Story from the Public Arena

Just read an interesting post on the Team RCIA blog from Rita Burns Senseman about whether children need an inquiry period in the RCIA and found a statement that confirms my own experience - that in American society today, many children need primary evangelization...

In my experience, some, if not many, of the children who come to us need evangelization. They have not yet heard the good news, they are unfamiliar with the Scriptures and unaware of God’s deep, unconditional love for them. It is not an uncommon that when I do the initial pastoral visit with a child, he or she is not able to speak about God. In other words, they “know” very little of God’s love for them. They have not yet been evangelized. Even though many people would say that North America is a Christian society, many children have not heard the good news of God’s saving love. Thus, many children need a precatechumenate before we begin the more formal catechesis of the period of the catechumenate.One example may illustrate this point. Recently, I interviewed an inquiring family during the Advent/Christmas season. The child was not able to tell me anything she knew about God and did not know any stories from the Bible. Trying to help her along and thinking that the story of “Baby Jesus and Three Kings” would sound familiar, I asked her if she had ever heard this story. She stared at me blankly.

I have had actually this experience the last couple of years with some Catholic children in religious education sesssions. Because we have been so politically correct that children no longer hear or see that Jesus was born in a manger and died on the cross, they may come to us, if their families have not been practicing their faith with absolutely no background. They simply have never heard the stories. Their only associations with Christmas and Easter may be from commercials on TV - Santa, the Easter bunny that clucks like a chicken, etc. - and from family celebrations of gift-giving on Christmas - and perhaps little or nothing (at most a big family dinner) at Easter - the most important celebration of the Christian year.

This is a call to evangelize our children - especially in a climate where parents tend only to insert them in religious formation to "get their sacraments". The sacraments of initiation have pretty much no meaning apart from the practice of our faith, including regular participation in the Mass and Eucharist. If not to be able to come to the Eucharistic table on a regular basis, what are kids being intitated for?

 We need to tell the stories - loudly and often - of our faith, and of our God, so that the children can hear that God is alive and active in the world... and in their lives.
 

Revised Roman Missal: Who Will Explain this to the Children?

In the flurry to set up catechetical materials to help adults understand and accept the new translation of texts of the Mass, there is nothing yet available for children and youth, nor, when I asked publishers about it, are there any plans in place yet to provide them. The assumption is, apparently, that we work with the adults and they, in turn, get to the kids. However, I personally believe that catechesis of adults is going to be a long process and that kids will just be confused if no one talks or teaches directly about this on their level. After all - how many 3rd-6th graders do you know who understand "consubstantial" and "incarnate" or who won't wonder whose roof God wants to be under, or why?

Catechists and Catholic school teachers may mean well, but my experience in working directly with average catechists/teachers while facilitating online courses on liturgy and sacraments has been that for most of them, their own understanding of the current liturgy is rather weak. To expect them, and parents who may only marginally be connected to church to instruct children in an age-appropriate manner without good materials is not going to work.  If these materials are not now in production by publishers, their availability in time for next school year, when such instruction should really begin, is in doubt.

After all, we have taught children the current texts in good faith as they prepared for First Eucharist - if they actively attend Mass, these words are a part of them, just as they are a part of adults.  Even if their families only occasionally participate in the liturgy, these words would be familiar. We owe them age-appropriate explanations for why their responses and the priest's words are changing - for why the words to familiar musical settings are changing, or those settings having to be replaced  entirely with new music.

Dioceses should now be mounting massive campaigns not only to catechize leadership and the general adult population, but to instruct catechists and parents about how to form their children for the changes to the Mass - and to prepare or assemble age-appropriate materials to be used with children and youth.  That will be one of my personal goals for our diocesan office. If there is no path, I feel strongly I will just have to make one!

Mandating Mass Attendance in Religious Education Programs

Oh my! Recently, we have learned of two parish programs in our diocese that are "mandating" Mass attendance for parents and children. One parish is requiring attendance on Sunday morning - with an hour and a half religious education class to follow. (The question arises whether Saturday Mass is not allowed?) The other parish is going so far as to require not only weekly Mass attendance, but weekly confession! Area parishes around at least one of these programs are reporting a huge influx of inquiries from families from that parish, as they attempt to flee to programs with more reasonable requirements.

With the trend in some few parishes to strong-arm families into attending Mass (we have seen it before with Confirmation youth being mandated to attend and to show proof of attendance) one might well ask if this is an effective tactic. Certainly, Mass attendance is part of who we are as Catholics. It is a duty to attend Mass - but it should be a joyful choice to fulfill this duty, not an obligation with negative consequences in this life rather than the next! Would it not be more effective to institute good adult formation, so that parents understand the Mass better, and are additionally provided with opportunities for personal conversion that can lead them back to a willing regular celebration of the Eucharist? Should we not evangelize about the value of the Eucharist in an inviting way, rather than punching a card at the door of the church?

What do you think?