Cliff-Jumping: My Very Real Relationship with God

Ever had a vision so strong you could swear it was real? I have. More than once. I guess it's just because I am rather visually oriented... but then again, at other times, it's been a distinctly real internal auditory message. Well, God probably isn't particular about which of our senses he appeals to when he wants us to find him. In my experience, he just insists on finding me where we am, and just when I need it the most.

I first truly knew the presence of God  back in 1989, three days after my now-ex-husband walked away from our marriage. I was in my late 30's, had been a full-time mom raising my two boys, and the shock of learning that I was about to be alone and responsible for two small children with no job was huge. Not only was I emotionally devastated by the demise of my marriage, but I also had no idea how I was going to survive. Friday, Saturday and most of Sunday, I had a very strong recurring vision of being pushed toward the edge of a cliff and knowing I was being asked to jump off. I didn't want to. I REALLY, REALLY didn't want to.

In spite of this, I went through the motions of everyday life, taking care of my boys for the rest of the weekend. I dragged us all to Mass on Sunday morning, where I cried on the shoulders of fellow choir members, who comforted me, and yes, I participated in Mass. I was in a daze, attempting to sing praise and receive the Eucharist trying to stay sane under this huge load of stress. I knew I had to do something that felt like my ordinary routine.

Sunday night was when it happened. I don't really remember there being a specific catalyst, but by evening after I had put the boys to bed, I realized that I was no longer alone at the edge of that cliff - that I could indeed let go and fall off - but I knew without hesitation that God the Father was going to catch me. It was then that I realized I could go on with my life, and that I could rely on the very real presence of God. (Yes, it really took three days to "rise" again.) Looking back, I now see the connection between that turnaround with sharing the Eucharist with my community and with Paschal Mystery.

In retrospect, I realize that was one of several times in my life that God has reached out and definitively made his presence known. It was the first of two instances when it was pretty specifically connected to the grace of a sacrament. The other experience was directly related to celebrating Reconciliation and I have written about that previously. The experience I have described above is one reason I knew to trust the second one. I already had a history with God.

This relationship with God has been is a distinctly personal one, although I admit I probably don't always live up to my part of the commitment as I should. Holiness is not particularly easy for me - and I admit I struggle. But no matter how unworthy I may feel, no matter what I have gone through in terms of life difficulties, I have never for one instant doubted the love of the Father, through Jesus Christ. That is why, whenever I lead psalms and hymns that speak of God's mercy and love for those who suffer, I am genuinely praying - in gratitude for the one who "raises up the lowly."  Because I have been there - and lived to tell of the "marvelous works of God." Because "God, who is mighty, has done great things in me."

At first, for me, it was definitely a relationship with the Father. A child of divorce myself, I had always longed for the daily presence of a father figure. Later, during my Cursillo, I felt drawn to the person of Jesus, who became much more real to me through that experience. As the years have gone by, I have relied on the Holy Spirit directly during my teaching, writing and when I am a cantor. I'd have to say that which person of the Trinity feels closest is somewhat situational, but it is always a personal relationship - I never feel distance between us, though, like any relationship, there can sometimes be interference from distractions.

It saddens me when I hear that many Catholics don't think it's possible to have a personal relationship with God - or that it's simply too "Protestant" to do so. Marcel LeJeune says it's something we can and should choose. Well and good. But I suspect many people do not find themselves free to make that choice. They are perhaps too bound by awe of a distant all-powerful God and by all that keeps them rooted to the things of this world, including most especially their own "agendas" and expectations about God.

I believe the first step to making that choice is simply to be open to a greater agenda than our own - to be alive to the movement of God's grace and to be willing to respond to invitation. God is the one who reaches out to us - and he never stops. The Catechism says "grace is favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become children of God, adoptive sons, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life". (CCC 1996)

Do you want to claim your place as a child of God? Wait. Listen. Watch. Be aware. Be open. God is always near - and he has a plan for you. I can testify to that. For some of us,  it takes a mighty time of crisis. We are forced to crash and burn before we can be broken open enough to realize that the one who was crucified stands ready to take us by the hand and lead us through the darkness of human grief and despair that he himself once experienced. What I would wish for others is less drama and more willingness to not only acknowledge the existence and power of God, but to choose intimacy with him.

Review: Eucharist: A Journey of Transformation, Healing and Discipleship

How can we allow ourselves to be changed so that we may broken and shared to "become Eucharist" for others? That is one of the key questions that Mary Amore is trying to help people answer in the three talks on her new DVD  Eucharist: A Journey of Transformation, Healing and Hope.  Dr. Amore, who serves as the executive director of Mayslake Ministries has honed her presentation from her background in liturgical studies and her many retreats and parish missions.

Amore's presentations are sometimes theological, sometimes liturgical, frequently punctuated by storytelling and wisdom from life that enliven these experiences of liturgical catechesis and model how "liturgy and life are interconnected." She challenges listeners to make sacrifices, to take risks and become more than they think they can be, all through the power of the Eucharist.

In a guided reflection, she digs deeply into how listening to the Word challenges us to change, and how participating in the sacrifice of the Eucharist is an opportunity for real spiritual sacrifice as we offer all that we are and all that we love to God along with the gifts on the altar. She encourages us to enter the sacrifice and allow ourselves to be transformed  - to become consecrated and holy - the  "Living Body of Christ" (echoes of my favorite section of the Catechism, Paragraph 901.)

The Eucharist DVD consists of three 20-minute talks and a user guide for personal or group reflection:

Part 1: Eucharist as a Pathway to Spiritual Transformation
Part 2: Eucharist as an Invitation to Spiritual Healing
Part 3: Eucharist as the Renewed Call to Discipleship

Suggested uses are for RCIA, parish missions or personal reflection. I would add small communities of teens, young adults and adults as other suitable audiences - as well as parish staffs and other ministry groups. What might happen within a parish staff or pastoral council dynamic if the members honestly reflected on the Eucharist with this kind of depth?

The printable user guide sets up sessions that allow time for reflection, sharing, prayer and ritual. The questions dig deep and should provoke profound responses. Make no mistake, this is not superficial or mere "learning about" the Eucharist. Dr. Amore challenges us to become part of the power of the Eucharist that can transform the world. We do this by allowing ourselves to become like Jesus, to be disciples who are not only hearers of the Word, but doers who serve others and don't count the cost.

Bottom line: this is a beautiful resource for liturgical catechesis and I highly recommend it. 

An Ordinary Joe Writes an Extraordinary Book

The time has come, Paprocki said, to speak of many things. Of sports and bucket lists and movies, of cucumbers and the King. (Apologies to Lewis Carroll)

In Joe Paprocki's newest book, Under the Influence of Jesus:The Transforming Experience of Encountering Christ (Loyola Press) he speaks of many things - all of which point the reader to the lived experience of finding God in everyday life.  When was the last time you read something about Jesus that mentioned THAT scene from When Harry Met Sally, Wilfred Brimley, sports teams and the Rolling Stones all in the same book?  It's all there, along with lots of other stuff, and somehow, it all makes sense.

Ignatian to the core, Joe Paprocki has definitely found God in all things. This is a book very much for people of this time and place, filled with pop culture and sports references, illustrated by life moments from a guy of a certain age, who lays out for readers a “game plan” for personal discipleship.

At times, the heavy emphasis on sports and popular movies might be a bit wearing for those who don’t really care for sports or certain kinds of movies. And yes, some of the many references are already dated, perhaps. Younger people might have to look up movies from the 80’s and 90’s, for example, but for “Boomers”, this book definitely speaks to the times of our lives. While some of the examples may indeed speak to us "older folks" the methodology - of looking to life experience for signs of the presence of God is a timeless example for people of all ages. 

The cultural references, however, take the reader right up to the present, which speaks to Paprocki's current full participation in the life of the world. This is not a book showing us how to find holiness in a quiet prayer corner, written by a hermit in a cell, but a call to live more fully who we already are as God's people in the world.

Paprocki’s main points are great, especially the chapter where he lines up essential behaviors of disciples (illustrated from the mainstream culture) with the six tasks of Catechesis. Throughout the book, he is good at distilling lists of points into memorable life strategies, and there are a number of these lists, making the book practical for people who like a point-by-point approach.

Photo from http://catechistsjourney.loyolapress.com/ 

The good news, according to Paprocki, is that “Exactly where we are is where God wants us to live as a disciple of Christ. It’s where he wants us to glow with the light of Christ so that others may recognize the kingdom in their midst.” Conversion to discipleship is, he says, about “changing while remaining who you are.” Evangelization is not pushy or “ham-fisted”, but just being your best self and living intentionally, focusing on others. “For Catholics, then, evangelization should simply be the act of helping others find God in the ordinariness of their lives.”

And that is the Gospel of Jesus Christ according to St. Ignatius, via an ordinary guy named Joe, living a pretty normal daily life in the suburbs of Chicago, where he goes to work every day, watches TV, movies and hockey games, blogs, posts occasionally on Facebook, goes to an occasional concert and sometimes teaches children the faith as a catechist in his local parish.  If a guy like that can see himself as proud to be found guilty of living "under the influence"of Jesus, then so can any ordinary person.

And We Have a Winner in the Book Giveaway!

Well, this morning I literally drew a name out of a hat from among those who made comments on my review of Pope Francis' new book, The Church of Mercy - and we have a winner!  


Michael Jacobs - congratulations!  Please contact me so I can get your address to Loyola Press, who kindly provided this giveaway.  As for the rest of you, thanks for visiting here and commenting on the post - I hope you will consider following this humble blog in the future.

Discovering Pope Francis' Message of Hope: "The Church of Mercy" (And a Giveaway!)

Hot off the press from Loyola Press, The Church of Mercy: A Vision for the Church by Pope Francis is a beautiful book, full of joy, hope and confidence in the unfailing love of God.  It's a message sorely needed in our times. It's a message, however, that comes with a challenge to give up our own personal agendas and take ownership of the agenda that Christ has given each of us at our baptism.

Consisting of excerpts from his homilies, addresses and official teaching documents, this collection, authorized by the Vatican and compiled by Giuliano Vigini, professor at the Catholic University of Milan, offers the reader comfort, refreshment and challenge, as well as an occasional healthy dose of papal humor.

Pope Francis' pastoral message is that there is hope - for everyone, most especially sinners - in Jesus Christ, and because God is patient, loving and merciful to us, we should be so with one another - especially to the poor and the stranger. We are called to come out of ourselves, abandon our will to that of Christ and simply serve - telling others about Jesus in word and deed - never afraid to show our hope and joy in the process.

We are asked to be an antidote to the evils of the culture by bringing that message out of the walls of churches to the very margins of life, in solidarity with those who have been pushed there - "to the outskirts of existence."  We are called to sensitize the world to the poor and the "uprooted" - refugees - "those who are obliged to flee their own country and exist between rootlessness and integration."

Francis' vision of a "Church of Mercy" is in tune with the social justice teachings of the Church - one that reaches out in love to the poor, the unwanted and those who suffer, in Jesus' name.  Our motivation for that, he says comes from our confident trust that God has already reached out in love to us. When we are able to abandon ourselves to Jesus, we will become a Church that fills the world with his love, one that is not afraid to testify to the message that God loves us all.

But, Francis tells us, before we do any of  this we have to let go of our cultural idols - power, violence, money, and yes, clergy careerism - to be "free from personal projects" and ambition. The Church must "divest herself of the danger of worldliness."  It is that, he says that kills the Church - and the person.  Once we let go, we will be free to choose the good and to become, like Mary, people of "listening, decision and action."


This is quite simply a "must read" book for every Catholic, lay and clergy alike. It proposes a reformed Church much closer to Jesus's intentions and asks us to steer away from worldly trappings - inner and outer - that prevent us from abandoning ourselves to Jesus's call to embrace the love of God and spend ourselves for the sake of others, sharing that love. This is how Francis explains why he himself has chosen not to wear full papal regalia, but to don simpler garb and go out into the world as often as he can, seeking the lost and the broken.  This is the Pope Francis who washed the feet of the disabled on Holy Thursday - Christian and Muslim, men and women - serving as an example, he is the very model of what he calls the Church to become.

Make no mistake. This is not just a "feel-good" book about the warm fuzziness of God's love. It is a real challenge to abandon ourselves to that love.
________

OK -  Here is The BIG Giveaway! 
You can win a FREE copy of this marvelous book from Loyola Press.  Make a comment here on the blog between now and Tuesday, April 29th and I will pick one out of a hat.  Be sure to include your name and an obvious way to find you when you "choose your identity" for the comment box. I will announce the winner on the blog on April 30th. Thanks for reading!

Tonight: Jesus is BAA-AACK!

During Holy Saturday, we prepare and we wait. Jesus has gone into the grave. Knowing what we know, that this is not the end of the story, unlike the disciples, who are readying themselves for the end of the Sabbath, when they can anoint the body and complete the burial, we spend the day readying for Christ's return.  

Many of us will be at our parish churches later this morning decking the altar with our most splendid altar cloths, masses of beautiful flowers and candles which will be fully revealed tonight when out of the darkness of the Vigil, the light returns at the lighting of the candles and the church as we sing the Glory to God on this "truly blessed night," when we see Christ rising from the dead.

But before that can happen, we will go, with Christ, into the darkness. After the sun sets, we light the Easter fire and stand around it as we bless the Paschal Candle. Moving into the church, we each receive a lighted taper and stand together to hear the great proclamation of the Exsultet, a hymn about the candle itself, which explains the connections between the candle and God - who appeared to our ancestors in faith as a pillar of fire and who now appears as the Morning Star.

To prepare for tonight, read through this magnificent text. There is absolutely no better way to get ready.

The Easter Proclamation (Exsultet)
Exult, let them exult, the hosts of heaven,
exult, let Angel ministers of God exult,
let the trumpet of salvation
sound aloud our mighty King’s triumph!
Be glad, let earth be glad, as glory floods her,
ablaze with light from her eternal King,
let all corners of the earth be glad,
knowing an end to gloom and darkness.
Rejoice, let Mother Church also rejoice,
arrayed with the lightning of his glory,
let this holy building shake with joy,
filled with the mighty voices of the peoples.

(Therefore, dearest friends,
standing in the awesome glory of this holy light,
invoke with me, I ask you,
the mercy of God almighty,
that he, who has been pleased to number me,
though unworthy, among the Levites,
may pour into me his light unshadowed,
that I may sing this candle’s perfect praises).

(V. The Lord be with you.
R. And with your spirit.)
V. Lift up your hearts.
R. We lift them up to the Lord.
V. Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.
R. It is right and just.

It is truly right and just,
with ardent love of mind and heart
and with devoted service of our voice,
to acclaim our God invisible, the almighty Father,
and Jesus Christ, our Lord, his Son, his Only Begotten.

Who for our sake paid Adam’s debt to the eternal Father,
and, pouring out his own dear Blood,
wiped clean the record of our ancient sinfulness.

These, then, are the feasts of Passover,
in which is slain the Lamb, the one true Lamb,
whose Blood anoints the doorposts of believers.

This is the night,
when once you led our forebears, Israel’s children,
from slavery in Egypt
and made them pass dry-shod through the Red Sea.

This is the night
that with a pillar of fire
banished the darkness of sin.

This is the night
that even now, throughout the world,
sets Christian believers apart from worldly vices
and from the gloom of sin,
leading them to grace
and joining them to his holy ones. 

This is the night,
when Christ broke the prison-bars of death
and rose victorious from the underworld.

Our birth would have been no gain,
had we not been redeemed.
O wonder of your humble care for us!
O love, O charity beyond all telling,
to ransom a slave you gave away your Son!

O truly necessary sin of Adam,
destroyed completely by the Death of Christ!

O happy fault
that earned so great, so glorious a Redeemer! 

O truly blessed night,
worthy alone to know the time and hour
when Christ rose from the underworld!

This is the night
of which it is written:
The night shall be as bright as day,
dazzling is the night for me,
and full of gladness. 

The sanctifying power of this night
dispels wickedness, washes faults away,
restores innocence to the fallen, and joy to mourners,
drives out hatred, fosters concord, and brings down the mighty. 

On this, your night of grace, O holy Father,
accept this candle, a solemn offering,
the work of bees and of your servants’ hands,
an evening sacrifice of praise,
this gift from your most holy Church. 

But now we know the praises of this pillar,
which glowing fire ignites for God’s honor,
a fire into many flames divided,
yet never dimmed by sharing of its light,
for it is fed by melting wax,
drawn out by mother bees
to build a torch so precious.

O truly blessed night,
when things of heaven are wed to those of earth,
and divine to the human.

Therefore, O Lord,
we pray you that this candle,
hallowed to the honor of your name,
may persevere undimmed,
to overcome the darkness of this night.
Receive it as a pleasing fragrance,
and let it mingle with the lights of heaven.
May this flame be found still burning
by the Morning Star:
the one Morning Star who never sets,
Christ your Son,
who, coming back from death’s domain,
has shed his peaceful light on humanity,
and lives and reigns for ever and ever.
R. Amen.

The Cross - Sign of Wondrous Love

Today, as millions around the world venerate the wood of the Cross, we remember the great love that God showed us -  in spite of ourselves - that he gave his only Son to suffer and die for our sins.  St. Paul got it exactly right:

For Christ, while we were still helpless, yet died at the appointed time for the ungodly.Indeed, only with difficulty does one die for a just person, though perhaps for a good person one might even find courage to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. How much more then, since we are now justified by his blood, will we be saved through him from the wrath. Indeed, if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, how much more, once reconciled, will we be saved by his life. (Romans 5:6-10)

We acknowledge our unworthiness, but claim that love when we venerate the Cross - but we also accept that the Cross has a place in our own lives at the times we are called to our own suffering - and to the sure knowledge that not only do we not bear those sufferings alone, but we, too, can be transformed by our suffering because of Christ's Paschal Mystery. His death and resurrection prove that God has the power to create good and set us free from evil and assures us that is possible in our lives if we believe.

Love, lifted on the cross for me

My Lord, my God, my salvation

Love, lifted high to set me free

My Lord, my God, my salvation...